making sure they say “i do” with the perfect proposal…
As we head into proposal season, I thought this was the perfect way to start the Cheshire Carriage & Co. wedding blog, the resource for the ultimate country and equestrian weddings!
Whether you met back in school/university, through a mutual friend at work, or dare I say it one of the delightful dating apps (hey you can make something else up to tell everyone), you found love…and it’s time to make it stick. But as we're sure you already know, figuring out how to propose is a major undertaking (hello, shopping for that ring and memorising what you want to say!).
To make your long-awaited moment run as smoothly as possible here is my top 12 tips to plan the perfect moment before you get down on one knee…
Make sure you’re both on the same page…
This might seem obvious, but before you start plotting, it’s important to make sure you both have marriage on the brain. Talk to your partner about the future. Let them know that one day you’d like to be married and ask if they see marriage in their future, too. Nervous about making this conversation feel too much like a proposal? Keep it broad by discussing your best friend’s recent engagement and lead into it that way. Is it a hard conversation? Yes. But hopefully, you’ll come away from it with an idea of what your partner will say when you open that ring box.
Have the chat with the parents…
Old school? Yes. Important? It really depends on the family. If your partner has hinted in any way that you need to ask his or her parents for their hand in marriage, do it. That doesn’t mean it has to be something out of Bridgerton though. Try something like this: “I am deeply in love with your son/daughter, and we want to spend our lives together. I am planning to propose and want you to be involved in this exciting moment.”
BUY THE RING…
Cue the daunting horror music…all jokes aside the engagement ring is a piece of jewelry your partner will wear every day for the rest of their life, so get a sense of their tastes. Sneak photos of the jewelry they wear every day, take a peek at their Pinterest boards, or ask a close friend or family member to help narrow it down. As for jewelers, get recommendations to make sure you’re purchasing from a trusted store with great reviews and service. Last but certainly not least, find out their ring size. If it’s not a secret, just ask. If you’re going the surprise route, find a ring that he or she wears regularly (and make a note of which finger it goes on). Then either bring it with you to a jeweler or mark how far it fits on your own finger. Many jewelers can also make a good guess at a ring size based on your partner’s height and weight. And if all else fails… there’s always resizing!
The style of proposal…
Now that you have a ring, it’s time to plan the proposal. Think about the type of proposal your partner will love, whether it’s a grand gesture, an intimate moment in private, or a surprise surrounded by family and friends. Like the first point, it is so important to gauge what your partner likes (this can be done through subtle questions like asking what they thought of a friends recent engagement) as getting this wrong can make it awkward for the both of you.
Consider enlisting a planner…
You know your love best, but sometimes it's worth it to outsource a bit of proposal help. Companies like Cheshire Carriage & Co. can take care of everything from logistics to sourcing vendors to make your bent-knee milestone all the more memorable and, most importantly, worry-free. You can stay calm and collected and enjoy this time because it’s a huge moment for you, too…you can take all the credit and look fabulous!
What to say…
You don’t need to have your speech totally written out, but spend a little time jotting down what you’d like to say. Getting your thoughts on paper will give you some direction when it’s time to pop the question, even if you end up winging half of it anyway. As for what to say when you actually propose, try to hit on your partner's best qualities or even recap the moment you knew they were the one. Just be genuine and make them feel loved and excited in that moment! It can be short…it can be a couple of sentences. Just don’t forget to put those 4 little words…” will you marry me”.
Plan a celebration…
You don’t need to plan a full-on engagement party, but make sure you’ve got an idea of how the two of you will celebrate the big moment. Book a table at your favorite restaurant, tuck some Champagne in the fridge, or have a few friends waiting in the wings!
Make sure you have a ruse!…
To avoid blowing the surprise, come up with a foolproof ruse that leads your partner off track a bit. They may know something's up, especially if you're taking a trip or have out-of-the-ordinary plans, but a fake game plan keeps the you calm if you feel insecure in this 'lie’.
Keep that ring safe and discreet…
From the second you have the ring in your hands, keep it safe. Invest in insurance and then find a safe place to hide the ring until it’s time. When you’re ready to propose, safety is still key. Make sure the ring is secure in a zipped pocket or safely in the box…somewhere you’ll be able to reach easily without dropping it. However, think about where it will and how obvious it is… nothing ruins spontaneity faster than your partner seeing the bulge of a ring box from your pocket.
Capture the moment…
Whether you hire a professional or trust your in-law and their iPhone, your soon-to-be fiancé(e) will love you all the more for finding someone to document the occasion. If they have no idea the proposal's coming, you can expect absolutely epic reaction shots. I highly recommend you book a photographer, especially in this day and age when you do it for the ‘gram"! Bonus: You can even double down for an impromptu engagement shoot!
Be flexible…
Life happens, so be prepared to go with the flow. Don’t rush the proposal just because the sun is about to set or dinner is nearly over—wait until the moment really feels right. And if you’ve planned something a little more low-key, that very well might mean waiting a few days if your sweetheart is stressed from work or the weather isn’t cooperating.
Lastly…DONT RUSH…
Now you're ready to pop the question! When the moment comes, take a deep breath, get down on one knee, and pitch the heart felt speech you've probably rehearsed a million times. It really doesn't matter which knee you go down on, but if you've stashed the ring in your sock, then kneel on the opposite side! Give your partner a moment…ample time must be given to process/cry/hug it out. Then, once they've collected themselves, figure out when to officially put on the ring. Or your partner may beat you to the punch and hold out their hand for you to do the honors!
